To help patients, survivors and their partners resolve their most intimate concerns, I have created the Intimacy Development System (IDS), offering ten strategies to reverse survivors’ tendency to distance themselves from their spouses or partners due to anxiety about disfigurement or sexual dysfunction.
The most crucial strategy is to “make love,” and not just “have sex.” Intimacy can develop if partners emphasize “whole-body sex” rather than intercourse alone. I recommend the “S-T-I-C-K” method of sensate-focus, where partners express mutual appreciation and rekindle romance through psychological stroking (S), touching (T) from head to toe, intercourse (I) only if mutually desired, cuddling (C) and kissing (K). Initiating humor and playfulness and “keeping the faith” are equally important.
Learn about these and other helpful techniques in my free report, Renewing Intimacy after Illness, and my new ebook, Reigniting Intimacy and Sexuality after You're Ill. You'll find even more tips in my home-study intimacy course and in my Amazon bestseller, Conquer Prostate Cancer: How Medicine, Faith, Love and Sex Can Renew Your Life. While you're there, check out my individual and group coaching programs, including a half hour discovery consultation at no charge.