Prostate Cancer Wives and Partners - A Bill of Rights

I recently came across a "Bill of Rights for Wives and Partners" of prostate cancer patients. It was written by a wife of a prostate cancer survivor and is reproduced below with her permission. She is the editor of www.hisprostatecancer.com, an information and support website specifically for wives and partners of men with prostate cancer.

If you are the wife or partner of a prostate cancer patient or survivor, which of these rights apply to you?  What other rights would you add in your specific case that you can share with us?

If you are a prostate cancer patient or survivor, let us know whether you agree or disagree with any of the items in this list, and if not - why?

I hope you’ll respond to these questions in the space for comments I’ve provided after this list:

•    Cry as often as you need to but look for humor every day.
•    Worry all you want but know that it won’t change a thing.
•    You can be a tower of strength and still fall apart.
•    You don’t always have to know the right thing to say.
•    Accept that you will never be the perfect wife/partner.
•    Forgive yourself for making mistakes.
•    On days when you have nothing to give, know that it will be enough.
•    Take care of yourself and don’t feel guilty about it.
•    Give yourself permission to forget about prostate cancer for a day.
•    Hate the disease but always love the man.
•    Grieve what you’ve lost and celebrate what you’ve got left.
•    Let go of the illusion that you can handle this alone.
•    When the burden is too heavy, give it to God.

Comments

[Dee]

Thanks for sharing this list. I recently posted an interview with a woman who lost her husband to prostate. In it she shares her and her husband's battle and how her faith got her through his death and her own battle with cancer.
-Dee

BTW, that story is posted at www.robotic-prostatectomy.com/blog/2010/02/prostate-cancer-caretaker-advocate-my-personal-journey/121">http://www.robotic-prostatectomy.com/blog/2010/02/prostate-cancer-caretaker-advocate-my-personal-journey/121

Hi,Dee,
Thanks for sharing this story with me and our blog viewers here at ConquerProstateCancer.com. While most prostate cancer patients survive beyond 10 years (92-99%) and even past 15 years (76%), it's clear that prostate cancer, - (with 27,000 American deaths per year and more around the globe), is the leading male non-skin male cancer, and the second leading cause of cancer death after lung cancer.
The resulting tragic deaths mean that women have a lot to contend with. With a lot of support and personal resilience, and with faith in their Higher Power, most widows of those who succumb to prostate cancer find that ultimately they will make it through their ordeal.
- Rabbi Ed

Rabbi Ed, would you be interested in sharing your story and book on the Robotic-Prostatectomy.com blog? Feel free to contact me if you're interested. Thank you!
--Dee

Dee, I'd be happy to connect with you at your blog. My initial confusion over what treatment to take, followed by my successful robotic surgery, was in part what moved me to write Conquer Prostate Cancer, the book and its companion blog. - Rabbi Ed

[pregnancy stages]

This is put very well. I am sure that many will like your post. It provides a lot of people with a great deal of knowledge.
-P.S.